Keeping the Portal Open 24/7

I must admit, keeping this portal open requires far less energy than it took to open it. And before I could open it, I had to find it. I spent an enormous amount of time and energy out there searching for it – my ego monotonously insisting that it was there and then snidely insinuating that I probably wasn’t clever enough to locate it, let alone unlock it and move through it. I persistently disagreed and cleverly searched in all the places one might expect to find a portal. I searched in sanctuaries and cemeteries, in deep caverns and upon lofty mountain peaks. I studied books and looked where spooks and kooks were purported to congregate. On the way, strangeness became ordinary and commonplace places turned bizarre. A seemingly sound minded man with a dousing rod informed me that I’d created a positive vortex in my studio space. Ball lightning rattled the windows and doors each time the veil was over-thinned by my unadulterated desire. Signs and synchronicities were everywhere – all of them pointed somewhere but not a single one transported me anywhere. So, there I was, where I was, without a single portal to show for my efforts.

I’ve heard it said, when you least expect it, expect it, but in my searching, I was always expecting it, so when the portal opened, I almost overlooked it. I was sitting on a fallen oak atop yet another mountain peak, overlooking an icy gray valley below. The sun was just beginning to melt the frost on the leaf litter beneath my feet. It was Thanksgiving Day 2011, and I’d decided the night before to start the climb early enough so I could reach the summit before sunrise. The particular mountain I climbed wasn’t noteworthy, in truth I’m not sure if anyone ever bothered to give it a name. I secretly (and reverently) dubbed it Mount Epiphany in the months following the climb. On privately owned land, the peak was one of hundreds in the Asheville, NC area and one of thousands in the Appalachian range. For me, the climb wasn’t about the mountain, it was about regaining balance lost. An unanticipated divorce and the dissolution of our family unit during the financial crisis of 2008, had left me unmoored and adrift. Hoping to reset my internal compass, I’d driven from Port Charlotte to Ashville to visit my daughter for Thanksgiving. Victoria has always had a stabilizing effect on my personal perspective, but on the long drive north to see her, my mind kept returning to thoughts centered around the real reason for the trip. My intentions were set on calming the inner turmoil I’d been wrestling with and beyond that I’d begin charting a clear pathway moving forward.

On the mountaintop, the light of a new day arrived, filtering through low clouds on the horizon. I sat in stillness and practiced meditative breathing techniques. I focused my attention on the unfamiliar territory ahead and resisted the urge to look back on the painful events of the recent past. The only sounds were a few distant bird calls and the gentle breeze as it passed through the bare branched forest. As the moments passed and my loud thoughts faded to murmurs, a deep serenity washed over my weary spirit. In an instant perceived as timeless, I realized that I was one with everything and that everything was intricately connected to both my interior and exterior Self. For the first time in my life, I experienced undiluted joy on that mountaintop in Ashville. In absolute solitude, I’d uncovered an intimate connection with everything in existence and everything as yet unrealized. These words cannot express the fullness of the experience, so I’m left with the following description of the indescribable – It felt as though the purest white light of life was circulating through my mind and body with every breath I inhaled and released.

I’m still uncertain about the length of time that passed as I sat there, entranced by the ebb and flow of light as it coursed through my spirit, mind and body. What I am certain about is the fundamental change that took place within me during that time. The intensity of the experience brought on a steady flow of tears, but these weren’t tears of sorrow, regret or even relief, they were tears of joy and self-acceptance. On the mountaintop I came to the understanding that the enigmatic portal I’d been hoping to find out there had been inconspicuously opening in here all along. I know now that each one of us has a direct spiritual pathway to the Source of all that is or ever will be. Our conscious connection to the unfolded and enfolded universe also acts as an open portal to the collective consciousness of every sentient being on Earth. It takes courage and determination to venture inward and take an honest look at our motivations, our intentions and our true aspirations, but the perilous journey is well worth the life-affirming knowledge we gain for ourselves and subsequently pass along to the miraculous world we inhabit.