As I awoke from a fitful sleep this morning, I experienced a deeper understanding of my own relationship with the Light of Ages. Upon rising to meet the new day, I saw clearly the reason for my restless dreams, and I also better understood my personal preference to live in the Light. For many years during my youth I flirted with darkness and negativity. I thought that I could stand against anger, violence and hatred, if only I kept the Light of love and peace bright in my heart. At the same time I was attracted to the darkness because I thought I would miss out on the excitement and adventure of a life lived on the edge. After more than a decade of loneliness, frustration and emotional pain in my late teens and early twenties, I found myself backed against a wall of despair, in a dark prison cell, that I alone had created. I had lost track of the light within, and all was dark, inside and out. Through a near death experience, brought to me by the strangling hands of the last so-called friend who could tolerate my dark tendencies, I was able to find my way back into the gray area between lightness of being and the dark night of my soul. It took close to twenty years for me to fully recover the light I had regularly experienced as a child. During my search for redemption, I married the woman I intended to spend this lifetime with, and fathered two amazing children. I found purpose and self-acceptance in my roles as a husband and father. I even managed to forgive myself for my past failings and personal shortcomings. I became quite certain that the light of my spirit had defeated the darkness within and was holding at bay the darkness without, and so, I would never be required to wage battle with it again. My certainty was ill-conceived, however, because the energy of darkness has its own seasons, its own priorities, independent of the Light which helps to define it. Darkness waits in timeless anticipation for the passing of the Light of Ages. While we stoke our passionate fires, with hopes and dreams of self-preservation, the darkness lingers beyond the firelight, waiting for the rains to come. We are schooled by forces both dark and light. Today, when I awoke to another day of precious life, I reconfirmed my loyalty to the Light of Ages. I live in hope, that the Light of Life will eternally rule over the darkness of despair.
The year of 2020 can be a year of balance, rebirth and redemption for the entire human race. I embrace the gift of life, today and always.
"Grand Providentia United" 