“Resistance Brings Disharmony”

Back in those chaotic days of self-abusive destructiveness, I always thought that the addictions, and the consequences I suffered from those addictions, were a part of my identity, a part of who I am. Now I know that none of it is related to who I am as a human being, it is all directly proportionate to the amount of resistance that I’m generating towards my true self. To some of my readers, this may sound like a riddle, or pure poppycock, when I imply that I am resisting being myself, but I can assure you that I have tested and retested this theory thousands of times before coming to this conclusion. So, how does it work, you might ask. How does a person resist being themselves? The answer to that question, is one that we each need to find for ourselves through deep introspection, but I can tell you the answer that I’ve found for myself, and you can try it on to see if it fits for you. Throughout my life, I’ve worked hard to cover up my feelings of unworthiness. Hiding fears that I would not make the grade, accomplish my goals, or be accepted just the way that I am, imperfections and all. I’ve learned that the false self (some call it ego), created by my mind in order to disguise all of my perceived inadequacies, in other words, the mask I created to fit in with the rest of society, was as poisonous to my true nature as the alcohol and drugs I used to repress those same feelings of inadequacy. Upon discovery of this tyrannical impostor that my own mind had created to FIX me, I decided to boot the bastard to the curb. To put it simply, I told my mind to fuck off. Yes, that is very strong language, indeed! I intentionally used it to attempt to rattle some conscious awareness into anyone who has continued to read this blog o’ mine. In truth, I continually told my mind to shut up, back off, get lost, and many other commands that I’ll leave to your ample imagination. Here’s the thing – It worked! I finally achieved some inner peace and quieted those monotonous tapes droning in my head, the ones constantly telling me just how unworthy I was. I found a way to love myself, just the way I am. No more apologies, no more disguises.

Tomorrow, I’ll get back to the story of submarines, blackouts and car wrecks. For tonight I will leave you all with this simple blessing – May you find every answer you require to live a joyful and abundant life, right here and right now.

Good night, all!